Welcome to returning to you, reconnecting to your authentic self, learning how to connect back to your feelings, your body and your needs. This isn’t a new skill we need to learn. Rather, a very old set of skills that we are all born with. Many of us will have lost these skills order to belong in our families and our first relationships.
The Impact of Childhood Attachment
Giving up our connection to ourselves, our authenticity, was never a conscious choice, it was survival. When a child experiences any threat of the loss of their attachment relationship – or disapproval from that attachment figure, they will always give up themselves, their emotions, their needs, wants and boundaries in order to maintain the relationship. And
when we learn this as a child we bring it into all our relationships. Unless, however, we start on the journey to re-connect back to ourselves, consciously.
Reclaiming Authenticity
Babies are born with full authenticity, they are connected to themselves and their bodies. They know when they are safe and when they are not. When they are hungry, sleepy, thirsty and when they aren’t. They will communicate freely (and loudly!) their feelings, needs and wants. In an ideal world our authenticity and our need to be loved by our parents are not in conflict and we can freely experience both. In reality, many children learn from an early age that love (attachment) is conditional and at some point they will give up (unconsciously) authenticity for attachment.
The Journey Back to Self
So what does this mean for us as adults, partners, parents?
It’s never too late to return to ourselves, to reconnect and to rediscover our authentic self and it’s never too late to change the way we interact with those we love and those who love us. We are all both attachment figures ourselves and need connection from our own attachment figures – throughout our whole lives.
Returning to our authentic self is a conscious practice, it involves getting to know ourselves better, reconnecting to our bodies rather than relying solely on our thoughts and logical brain, learning how to express rather than repress our emotions and setting boundaries with both ourselves and others. This is not a journey that we do alone – support, feedback, connection, experience and co-regulation are all essential and remind us that we are important, part of a bigger community and part of nature.
Upcoming events in Dubai
I’d love you to be part of our community on this journey and warmly invite you to engage in whatever way suits you. There will be opportunities this year to join in person with me and others in workshops and group sessions. We will also meet online and individual sessions with me are always available. You are also invited to share your thoughts and experiences via social media, email and comments on my blog are another excellent way to engage.
Next month I will be in Dubai hosting both group and individual sessions between 26th February and 8th March 2024. If you are interested in finding out more about these please follow the links below to find more information. As always you are welcome to email me directly too at joanne@joannejewell.com.
Click here to find out about upcoming events in Dubai
I hope to connect with you soon.
Much love,
Jo